August 14, 2014

Lada soldiers on and, eat your heart out, now has a 'conditioner'

Fully Equipped's 'Lada display team' from some years ago

When Ladas were still sold here: being demonstrated at the 1995 New Zealand Motor Show at Auckland
The Lada Niva soldiers on, although now known as the Lada 4 x 4. Here's a slightly amusing and unedited item from the Russian news service, TLT News: "In the near future, AVTOVAZ will start the sales of the new specifications of the off-road vehicle LADA 4×4, including ones with a conditioner." The three-door modification of the model with a conditioner will be available in the two “lux” specifications, which differ among themselves only in colour. Thus, LADA 4×4 with a conditioner and metalised colour will cost buyers 388,500 roubles ($NZ12,800). The off-roader with a conditioner and pastel colour will cost three thousand roubles cheaper. In the both versions also there is a constant velocity joint, a dynamic vibration absorber, a diagonal brake system, power steering, and 16-inch pressed wheel discs. The new modification of LADA 4×4 Urban has also got a conditioner, but the cost of this version is unknown for the present.”

Yes, it seems you can’t keep the 4WD Lada down. It's even back in the UK after a gap of 15 years. Can a New Zealand reintroduction be far off? Let's hope it is far off, or not at all. Brilliant in concept but wickedly unreliable and rust-prone, the Niva disappeared from most Western markets during the 1990s. Its reintroduction a few years ago was marked by mainly derisive news items and test reports, fuelled partly because a snow plough is on its options list. The butt of so many jokes, Nivas and Lada cars once had a reasonable following in New Zealand. “What’s the difference between a sheep and a Lada …?” 

Not strictly relevant, but amusing nonetheless.
Flogged from the Internet.
Canterbury-area enthusiasts even formed a club, the South Island Niva Drivers’ Association (SINDA). The club survived much longer than most of the vehicles its members drove. How long did the average SINDA trip last? Depends on how soon the breakdown trucks got to them. SINDA continues today as an excellent all-makes club. Despite its reappearance in the UK and some other overseas markets, it’s unlikely we’ll see the Niva, or any other Ladas, back in New Zealand, where they would have to compete with used Japanese imports.

Anyway, with all those Lada jokes in circulation, it would take a thick-skinned shopper to buy one. For example:
• Man runs into service station: “Will you give me a set of wiper blades for my Niva?” “Sounds like a fair trade to me, mate.”
• How do you double the value of a Lada? Fill its petrol tank.
• What do you call a Lada at the top of a hill? A miracle.
• What's the difference between a door-to-door salesman and a Lada? You can shut the door on the salesman.
• What's the difference between a Lada and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 200 metres.
• Don't forget the Lada emergency get-you-home kit: walking boots and a map.
• How do you make a policeman laugh? Tell him your Lada has been stolen.
• What do you call a report that your Lada has been stolen? Great news.
• Three definitions of an optimist. The owner of a Lada with an alarm. The owner of a Lada with a radar detector. The owner of a Lada with a trailer hitch.

• Why do Ladas have heated rear windows? To keep your hands warm whilst pushing.

When it's working, the Niva/Lada 4 x 4 is an excellent off-roader. But shhh … don't tell anyone.

It's, er, stopped …


No comments:

Post a Comment