|Fully Equipped's 'Lada display team' from some years ago|
|When Ladas were still sold here: being demonstrated at the 1995 New Zealand Motor Show at Auckland|
The Lada Niva soldiers on, although now known as the Lada 4 x 4. Here's a slightly amusing and unedited item from the Russian news service, TLT News: "In the near future, AVTOVAZ will start the sales of the new specifications of the off-road vehicle LADA 4×4, including ones with a conditioner." The three-door modification of the model with a conditioner will be available in the two “lux” specifications, which differ among themselves only in colour. Thus, LADA 4×4 with a conditioner and metalised colour will cost buyers 388,500 roubles ($NZ12,800). The off-roader with a conditioner and pastel colour will cost three thousand roubles cheaper. In the both versions also there is a constant velocity joint, a dynamic vibration absorber, a diagonal brake system, power steering, and 16-inch pressed wheel discs. The new modification of LADA 4×4 Urban has also got a conditioner, but the cost of this version is unknown for the present.”
Yes, it seems you can’t keep the 4WD Lada down. It's even back in the UK after a gap of 15 years. Can a New Zealand reintroduction be far off? Let's hope it is far off, or not at all. Brilliant in concept but wickedly unreliable and rust-prone, the Niva disappeared from most Western markets during the 1990s. Its reintroduction a few years ago was marked by mainly derisive news items and test reports, fuelled partly because a snow plough is on its options list. The butt of so many jokes, Nivas and Lada cars once had a reasonable following in New Zealand. “What’s the difference between a sheep and a Lada …?”
|Not strictly relevant, but amusing nonetheless. |
Flogged from the Internet.
Anyway, with all those Lada jokes in circulation, it would take a thick-skinned shopper to buy one. For example:
• Man runs into service station: “Will you give me a set of wiper blades for my Niva?” “Sounds like a fair trade to me, mate.”
• How do you double the value of a Lada? Fill its petrol tank.
• What do you call a Lada at the top of a hill? A miracle.
• What's the difference between a door-to-door salesman and a Lada? You can shut the door on the salesman.
• What's the difference between a Lada and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 200 metres.
• Don't forget the Lada emergency get-you-home kit: walking boots and a map.
• How do you make a policeman laugh? Tell him your Lada has been stolen.
• What do you call a report that your Lada has been stolen? Great news.
• Three definitions of an optimist. The owner of a Lada with an alarm. The owner of a Lada with a radar detector. The owner of a Lada with a trailer hitch.
• Why do Ladas have heated rear windows? To keep your hands warm whilst pushing.
When it's working, the Niva/Lada 4 x 4 is an excellent off-roader. But shhh … don't tell anyone.
|It's, er, stopped …|